Another episode

Things had been status quo until this past Tuesday afternoon.  I noticed the all too familiar starting to slouch as she sat on the couch.  By evening, she was having another brain shut down episode.
Since then, we’ve been on daily nurse visits and she’s been confined to the bed.  She’s had a bad cough that manifests itself enough that she hasn’t been able to get that deep, solid sleep that usually helps the brain reset.
She’s tried to stand, but can’t even sit on the bed for a few minutes without eventually needing to lay down.
Her vitals have been OK.  She had a bit of gurgling in her lungs Wednesday that wasn’t evident yesterday (Thursday), which is good.  She’s not gained control of her right side, specifically her right hand and right leg, which isn’t good.
Bethany is coming to visit today.  Hospice nurse said she has a lot more "showed up too late" stories than "showed up too early".  It will be great to see her, and great for her to see her Mama.
That’s the update for now.  Thanks as always for those who have offered their help and their kind thoughts.

Losing a friend

I've been surrounded by lots of talk about death lately.  I've been preparing for it for almost 7 years now, and I know, I won't be ready for it.

Today, I was killing some time before an event at Pioneer, and I glanced through Facebook.  I saw a post my friend Lenny had made about losing a friend, and he posted a picture of himself with his friend.  I passed the phone over to Connie and said how good Lenny looked.  We hadn't seen him for awhile, although we just talked to each other last week.

He had called because he wanted to check on Connie.  To see "how his buddy" was.  They talked a bit.  Then she went to bed and I called him back, and we talked a bit.  At the end of the call, we had both made each other cry.  We ended up texting each other after we hung up, and we exchanged our love for each other.

As I took the phone back this morning, I realized it wasn't Lenny who had posted that.  It was his friend posting about Lenny.  He had passed away over night.  I called one of our old neighbors and she filled me in a bit.  I was literally in shock.  Connie and I both cried and hugged.  Then we went to our event.

Before dinner tonight, we both had a beer and toasted our friend.   We cried some more.  I told Connie that I had wanted Lenny to host her "Celebration of Life" parties in Ashtabula that she's put in her dying wishes.  it was going to be fitting that we do it in his garage where the three of us had so damn many good times.

Lenny was probably the first "non teaching" friend I had had in my adult life.  He didn't know me from school or work.  He knew me as the guy down the street who politely waved as I drove by.  A guy who finally got tired of waving when I saw him out, pulled in one day with my wife and a 12 pack of beer and said, "Hi.  We're the Sims."  That was the spring of 1995.  Damn, that was almost 25 years ago.

We golfed together.  We went out together.  We went to the Elks together.  But mostly, we sat at each other's houses, just down the street from each other, and just enjoyed each other's company.  A friendship that couldn't have been simpler.

When we got rid of the house, he got first choice of everything after my daughter.  He still used my old snow thrower (Big Red).  He got Fuzzy the Bear (a fixture of our basement).  He took the old fire bell off the wall. 

My last night in Ashtabula, before starting full time RV'ing, I stayed at his house.  He stole my car keys so that I wouldn't ghost him in the morning without saying good bye.

Tonight, after Connie went to bed, I was going to call up some friends and see who wanted to get hammered.  If nobody did, I was going to hit the bars in town.  Instead, I did a little more healthy thing and sat home, watched a couple of Disney movies that I'd never seen.  I drank water and ate some M&M's.  I cried a few more times.

As I said, I've been preparing for death for awhile.  But when one hits you out of the blue, it shows you your never prepared.  And as I've always said, you just never know.  I damn sure didn't today and I'm still in denial that I won't see my friend again. 

RIP Leonard.  I'm thinking of you.  Love you, man.

Bonus Month 1 in the books

It's been over a month now.

I think being off the chemo has given Connie a bit of a lift.  Her spirits are good.  She thinks she can do things (even though she often bails at the last minute). 

The brain is still her biggest problem.  Finding the right words, having a thought and not being able to finish it, etc.  Doesn't let her have good balance.  I'm starting to notice pretty large short term memory loss (we talked about a show this morning at pretty good length, tonight she didn't know what I was talking about).

Still a lot of sleep time.  A normal day is she's up at 8, in bed from noon-ish to 2-ish, down for bed around 7p.  Now that football is over, I'm catching up on a lot of Netflix and Prime Video.  Plus, the business has been hopping, which is really helpful.

Her appetite is as good as can be expected.  She has a breakfast, a snack, one of those Boost protein drinks, and a dinner.  All small portions, but at least she's eating.

Hospice nurses are here every day through the week at this point for 30-60 minutes.  We've got oxygen ready to roll, as we feel it's going to be a necessity and wanted it here for when that eventuality happens.

A few people have been nice enough to call, stop over, bake some things.  All of which is really appreciated.  I can run to the grocery, post office and not be a basket case if I time it around one of her naps or a nurse visit.  She actually sat out and watched a little football Sunday, along with going to the beach once for about 45 minutes.

That's pretty much the update, thanks for taking the time to think of my wife.

Humbled

Over the last couple of days, I posted about Connie's situation.  It was a weight lifted.  I was humbled and brought to tears often by the many comments on FB, texts and calls.  Thanks.

Moving forward, if you'd like to give Connie a call, text me first and I'll let you know the current situation.  If you're in the Coastal Bend and would like to stop by here at Pioneer, the same.  We'll get a time set up  (Of course, stopping by means you'll have to deal with Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum)

Love to all of you.

Bonus Days Week 3 (December 29 - January 3rd)

Finally had to let "the cat out of the bag".  Too many people asking, had to spill the beans.  Was actually a big weight lifted.  I felt like I was "keeping things" from people.  Never want to tell a lie, but I was never in the position.

Connie's vitals are still doing well.  She's eating breakfast daily, not much for lunch, and some for dinner depending on the day.  Nausea has never really been a problem, she just isn't hungry.

Not really a whole lot to report.  Many have asked if they can visit, call, etc.  If you text me, I can let you know if it's "a good time".  Nurse usually calls Tuesday - Thursday around 10a, Nurse Assistant calls M - W - F around 4p.

We both appreciate all your kind thoughts and prayers.